Today’s Dads

Happy-Fathers-Day-2010

Today is Father’s Day.  This day for me, is meant to honor those who have not fathered children but who have truly been a ‘dad’ to them.  As the saying goes.. anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad.  How true this is.  But, thinking & looking over the dads of today, I do not envy them.

Before I go any further with my thoughts, let me remind you that these are MY thoughts.  I write each blog from my heart with what God has place inside of me.  Before you send me hate mail… understand that I am in NO way promoting dead-beat dads.  I am however giving a pat on the back to those dads who do deserve it. So, open your minds and hearts for just a minute. 

When you hear of dads today, the majority of the talk you hear is about dead-beat dads. We all either have one in our lives or know of one. And I assure you, from experience, I couldn’t write my thoughts on those dads without having to use a few explicit words.  But, what about those dads who have fulfilled their roles of being the best dad they can be?  Have we forgotten them?

Studies show an approximate of 40-50% of marriages in the U.S., will end in legal separation/divorce.  Wow, that’s a high percentage but truly believable when you look at those around you.  Children whose parents are married are now the minority.  Although the trend is changing, the children are normally living with their mothers and father’s have visitation.  Do we stop to think how the father’s world changed?  They go from having their children in their homes daily to only given visitation. Stripping them of that daily time with children they love and adore as much as the mother does. One of the first things, we as women, (yes, I included myself in that) say is, “He’s going to pay and help me take care of these children.”  Do the men need to fulfill their half of raising these children (emotionally, physically, financially)? Absolutely, but most of the time, the emotions of the marriage breaking runs over into this area.  The hurt and fighting between the ex-spouses is dominant.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

A lot of fathers today are parenting from a distance.  Their responsibility placed on them by God has become difficult.  God has ordained these men as heads of their households.  How can they do that? Their children are often in a different home and in that home is possibly a step-father.  See..  we don’t think about that. The role of that father has become complicated.  I logged onto FB this morning to post a Happy Father’s Day to my dad, a man who is still married to my mother (53 years) and has always been the head of our home.  What I found when logging in, was a post that my oldest daughter has put about her dad.  It actually warmed my heart.  I have a daughter who adores her father.  This tells me that he was a good dad.  He’s the exception to the rule.  By far, not a dead-beat dad but one who has given his children what they needed.  Not always perfect, but he gave them his best.  As their mother, I will eternally be thankful to him for that.  And on a different note, by being the best father he can be, he is also an exceptional Grand-father (or PopPop as our grandchildren call him).  What more as a Mom/Nana can I ask for?  So for him, he should definitely receive a pat on the back.  There are many more like him out there.  A friend recently told me that his daughters were coming to visit him.  He was genuinely excited for this visit.  As he spoke, I could see that he has the same emotions for those daughters, who live with their mother, as he would if they were all still in the same household.  And he is experiencing the same “abandonment” issues that all father’s go through when their daughters become the age of boys and dating.  They are replacing their fathers as their Prince Charmings. A sad time in a dad’s life.  In families where the parents are still married, those fathers have the bond of the daughter’s mother, their spouse, to help them through this time.  Divorced dads don’t.  The divorced dad worries when his daughter starts dating because he’s not there to constantly remind this young man, who his daughter thinks is her true love,  that he’s keeping an eye on him and he better treat his daughter with respect. Poor Dad :(

So, this morning, on Father’s Day..  a Happy Father’s Day to my dad and a HUGE pat on the back to those dads who have truly stepped up to the plate and given your best to your children.  You deserve it.

Blessings… Pam

 

2 comments to Today’s Dads

  • Kathleen Greffin Popp  says:

    Very well stated Pam! My Son is a single parent he’s a very hands on, loving Dad. Simply put he’s great! His little boy loves him so much, he has him every other week & they split Holidays.The other day he said I have to take RJ to the store, I said he has enough toys, response that little 9 yr. old boy worked hard to get almost straight A’s.
    So on this day I wish my Dad a happy Fathers Day in Heaven, and to my Son for the great job he’s doing raising his boy. Also to all the other Dad’s & especially to the one’s who get the short end of the stick.

    • PJarrell  says:

      Love it Kathleen!!

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